Priorities

I am in something one might refer to as: a rut.

Things haven't been too swell lately, academically and otherwise, that there are days when I sincerely feel so down I imagine freezing my ass off in Antarctica. Today though, I feel so fortunate to have attended a class wherein a professor actually took time to lecture not only about medicine but also about life. Today I realized many things. First:

1. You are as strong as you believe you are.

It doesn't matter whether or not your self-perceived greatness is at par with others' parameters. The crucial argument here is that you SHOULD believe in yourself. The moment you lose sight of feeling like you can conquer the world, you lose the chance of actually doing so right then and there.

2. Grades are not the most important things in life.

Well, I knew this long ago. Frankly, I'm not much of a fan of grades. It's just that, when you're surrounded by people who think it matters more than actually enjoying the learning process, you tend to forget. But I take victory in even the small victories in med life. And today, listening to accounts from one of our lecturers, once again, my belief in the greater things in life remain validated. I'd rather not top an exam, only to end up dead even before the results are released (Long story. Ask one of my classmates or ask me when you see me.).

3. One must find time for everything.

In the very monotonous life of med, you must find ways to make time for things that make you happy. (Yes, I know, I said that we should find happiness in studying... but of course, the kind of happiness that a legitimate leisure activity brings is a lot more exciting. HAHA). Frankly, I've set aside my love for books for the past months because I've grown tired of reading transes. But now, I try to make it a point to read at least one chapter per day. Eventually, I will finish a book... then another after that. I want to develop and keep leisure reading as a habit. Even if it's the same activity (READING), by the virtue that they are not of the same substance makes it detoxifying.

4. Positivity is infectious. Spread it around.

Red pill or blue pill? I'm a very transparent person. If it's a crappy day, you can see it in my face. If it's a happy day, well, I'll probably be running around smiling all day. But given the choice which affect to try to apply to daily life, I say go with the positive. I'm not saying that one should simply "ACT" positive--for show--even if they actually want to run over the next person they see (whoever it may be). I'm saying that we all have a choice: to bask in our loneliness or to conquer it head on with head held high. The mark of resilience is being able to persist despite all odds. Why choose to be sad? Why choose to be miserable, when you can be infectiously happy, instead? Find the good amidst the bad and you'll realize that there are a lot of things to be thankful for.

5. When you think there's nothing you can do about it, YOU'RE WRONG.

I am a firm believer in the saying that life is unpredictable. Often, it can surprise you in the most odd of ways. Life is hard. Life is challenging. Whoever says that life is an absolute breeze is either lying or crazy. You will face many different problems and trials which will test you even when you feel you're at wits end. You must remember though that the moment you stop trying, you lose. It's not enough to simply accept what life gives you. We must all take an active role in running our lives: constantly thinking about making good choices and also enjoying every second we decide to make worth remembering.

Writing this post is my way of shunning all the negativity in my life. I don't want to be jaded this early. I still believe that we are all capable of great things. I remain hopeful in the infinite possibilities ahead. The pep talk that our lecturer gave earlier made me feel that sometimes, all it takes is for one person to believe in you. I probably won't end up having the highest grades, I probably won't finish at the top of my class, learning things like a breeze. But I know that it doesn't just stop there. Those are not the only things that matter.

BOTTOMLINE:

We all are whom we will ourselves to be.

Passion is not just a Fruit.

I came across a friend's status message on Facebook and it got me thinking. The post was about finding something to be passionate about.

In medschool, we are constantly bombarded with an insatiable amount of information, all of which we must chew and digest. This incessant learning is something we do 24/7, including weekends... and it's just hard. It's hard to make time for other things in life. It's hard to make time for family, for friends, for relationships, for hobbies, and for other things. There is little room for having passion in life, as it is mostly expected to be medicine and nothing else.

But well, I found it helpful to regain my passion for writing through this blog. I don't even know if anyone bothers to read my musings (Heck, I haven't even told anyone -- save for ONE friend -- that I am the proud owner of a blog in cyberspace; I didn't even give her the URL. Haha.). Still, this release and this need to be in touch with my inner thoughts and my creative cells drive me to constantly find things that interest me, things that I would find worthy to write about.

Usually it just begins with a thought, then I start typing. Words form and somehow, things eventually fall into place. Something that once began as an idea, springs into a coherent story, hopefully into a good piece at that.

I'm proud to say that so far, this blog has done just that: It has enabled me to release my thoughts and empower again my once sleeping (zombie-ish and routinary) brain.

It feels good to be passionate about something again.

No Regrets

Two years ago, I wrote a blog post as I was leaving my job and applying for med school. Reading it now, I had no idea that things would turn out this way. At that time, I can remember that I was insisting that I wanted to be in UPCM and that being a doctor was something that I really wanted to do, enough to not care whether it was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do in my life.

I just wanted to share it, seeing that to this day, I have no regrets. But a lot of things have changed. A lot of things surprised me. And that makes me hopeful for the future. 'Cause you never really know for sure what things have yet to come.

"It seems as though just a few blog posts ago, I was talking about having to start another page in my-oh-so-predictable life: WORKING. Little did I realize, not until now, that it has really been 4 months already... FOUR MONTHS since I had a LEGITIMATE job.

Unfortunately though, the time has come for me to leave--with the advent of my contract's end. Still, my stay has been exciting, challenging, and enjoyable (among other things ^_^). As a tribute (also, as inspired by Jade), I shall enumerate the memorable experiences I had:

:)

• land the first job I've ever applied to and have been interviewed for
  
• process documents (SSS, NBI, for the others-thanks sa StaffRIGHT) that made me feel like a legitimate citizen of the Philippines
• coming on my first day, wearing a white blouse and brown slacks
• administering my first test, complete with buckle-ing, cold hands, and shaky voice
• being at work for 12 hours straight
• mistakenly have an applicant wait for 2 hours for feedback that I could've given in less than 15 minutes
• blank out in the middle of a phone interview because the applicant had call center experience, and at that time, I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE JOBS AND WHAT QUESTIONS TO ASK (Imagine how the call ended. Haha)
• think about a scene from a Koreanovela in the middle of an actual meeting with the bosses in the Board Room (sorry na, parang My Girl reminder talaga yung Board Room namin. Kulang na lang si Julian. ^_^)
  
• pag-kickout sa New Hire Trainees papuntang Secret Room kapag medical mission ang mga applicants (Hehe. Hi DANA! Hi ISTINE!)
• FastBytes meals (Samurai: Meryenda Meals and Takoyaki Balls, McDo: breakfasts (that eventually cause us to not eat anything else for the day), 7-11: primary yosi and 1.5 L Gatorade Blue source, Chicken Bacolod: lunch with Dana and Christine and OUR FAVORITE LECHE FLAN, Jollibee: 39ers lunches 'pag nagtitipid, Country Style: bagels, snoboard doughnuts, and Birthday Spaghetti
• ka-adikan sa FudgeeBarr, Lemonade from the vending machine, Turon, libreng kape, at unlimited supply of paper towels (perfect for colds ^_^)
• pa-iba-ibang mood ng mga bantay na guwardiya :D
• being late for work for just 1 minute, more than once
• people watching/bashing: girl in SHOCKING yellow pants -- di masasagasaan, 5-inch stiletto heeled girl -- mukhang hirap na hirap sa paglalakad, pitis boy -- parang di bumili ng t-shirt since grade 5 siya
• kwentuhan with Tito Joey, leaving love notes with Patti, Jos, and Mommy Jo
• Chocolate Dome Cake surprise from GE Recruitment Team (Yum!)
• English booboos during examinations
• compiling FUNNY (and UNBELIEVABLE) APPLICANT ANSWERS (I shall make a separate post for this someday)
• compiling UNIQUE FILIPINO SURNAMES (I shall make a separate post for this someday... again.)
• car watching in between tests- making reports daily, answering phone calls, interviewing people, administering tests
• learning GERMAN and ITALIAN through the Living Language books
• going out with Jaypee, Edward, Kitel, Jade and Riva only once at Filinvest (sa Exit Interview ko, sana matapat ng sweldo para makapunta ko sa Makati!)
• chika moments with the trainees, mega-encouragement and all
• talking about various topics with Jade: politics, friends, manners and upbringing, taxes, clothes and shoes, food glorious food, the idea that someday we will get rich and live abroad, life abroad, family matters, gadgets, cars and gas consumption and toll fares, jobstreet, lovelife crisis and shrink therapy sessions, life down south as opposed to the fast paced life in makati, psychology, tranportation mode (Troesch, 2008) Haha. Kasama na rin dun ang pagbasa ng mga sulat at pagtingin ng mga pictures from the past. (Haha. Si Mr. Legs)
• meeting lots of people, making friends, and trying to do the job well
• tediously revising databases to be more centralized and efficient in computing stats
• lots of photo moments: at the secret room with Riva's cellphone and Jos' camera, at Plaza B and Luneta still with Riva's phone, random places like FastBytes and malls
• finish encoding 6 months worth of applicants' resumes in JUST THREE DAYS. Imagine how many applicants we had all in all! Libo.
• tasting Jade's gourmet pasta (FAVORITE), conversations between food makers (Riva and Jade) and food eaters (Tin and Dana) Hahaha.
• riding bluey from the front of Plaza B to the parking lot
• Mood Ring days (Wear jeans to work)
• shredding (by hand, meaning tearing) the remaining documents that have been encoded... marami-rami din yun
• cleaning up SRS stuff one by one to ensure that a good transition is made

Haay. Apparently, listed down a lot of things. I'm gonna miss all of these when I leave. Bakit nga naman kasi kung kelan inuugat ka na, saka ka pa bubunutin. Oh well, that's life. I must say though, that this has been a really good experience for me. I had fun with my job, I loved the environment, and I've grown to know and love the people I work with."

Stop. Think. Not.

People have problems. It's normal for people to have problems. What people do about them depends and responses can range from the mildest of ignorance to the most enraged of commotions.

For so long, I've had this image of myself as someone who can give someone a run for his/her money in a fight. I've had thoughts of running someone over, pulling someone's hair, getting a good punch in (yes, I really am not the most non-violent person around... beware of leaving your kids with me), among many others, but I've never gotten around to fulfilling these innermost desires of mine. Blame it perhaps on social desirability, or my incessant need to be in good terms with people. Maybe it could also be because I dislike confrontation. Yes, I can be confrontational, but I don't like being confrontational ALL THE TIME (especially about things that really don't matter).

I say that I rank my problems based on intensity, urgency, and people involved. In general, there are certain people with whom I cannot have prolonged bouts with. Intensity can also determine whether or not I want to confront already or not. I know I can be one of the most patient persons ever, but there is a limit to everything.

There are acute problems, chronic problems, problems that you just want to do without, problems you cannot believe you have, problems that were given to you by another, problems that look easy but are really not, and problems about problems being problems. GEEZ.

The world is simple. We just make it complicated for ourselves.

Stop thinking already.